♥Every saint has a past;every sinner has a future.

she walks in beauty,
like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;
and all that's best of dark and bright
meet in her aspect and her eyes.
hopping by.

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Hi=)

Welcome to my humble blog.
hits since Dec'06.

♥ Aziqa.

16 going on 17 as of Apr6'08
no words can actually describe the personality i have.
i love to laugh, love to listen to music & i love spending my time with my ♥ ones.
i have hee-yuge dreams, and i'm currently working my way to achieving them.
i love to do random acts of kindness, something about making people's day for no simple reason=).
from me, expect the unexpected.
reach me @ a/z/i/q/a/./z/@/h/o/t/m/a/i/l/./c/o/m/.

[ Tuesday, January 16, 2007 ]

7:41 PM

when it all falls apart

Gosh,its still January only and I already feel like jumping off the highest tower.

United Kingdom(UK) Trip.I was glad,wait overexcited,when Mrs Danial finally told us that the Literature Uk Trip would cost about $1500-$2000 only!Nothing more,nothing less.I thought if it had costed more than $2000,I'll give it a miss.But $1500 for accomodation,transport,food,entry tickets and airplane ticket,that's freaking cheap ok!Last time i went to London,my ticket costed $1800.TICKET ONLY.So now you get what i mean.

But why am i in utter despondency?The trip will be in late May till first week of JUNE.I think my whole mind was going 'fuck'.My sister's wedding is on the first week of JUNE for goodness sake!!!!No way am I going to miss her big day.

This always happens to me.Like last time in Dec'06,it was either Taufik @ bday bash or Kak Illa @ London.And now history is about to repeat itself.Like,why me?Haven't i gone through enough?Its not like a simple choice like "Niari nak pergi tengok Taufik ker dudok kat rumah relek eh?".NO its NOT.Its like life and death.

I DON't want to miss the trip only because I want to know how it feels to go overseas with your classmates of 2 years,knowing this is the last BIG thing that will happen for us.For memorysake for short.And i hate how it'd be after the trip and my friends will talk about the stuff at UK i dont fucking hell know what's going on.What's worse then being the butt of the joke?Not knowing the joke at all when EVERYONE's laughing about it.

I feel like screaming and pulling my hair.Its not fair.Dont try telling me "Life isn't always fair",or i'll pull YOUR hair.

Class decoration.I had done my part as a V.chairman by getting some stuff done for the class accoding to the Cinema theme.You know cinema got stuff like 'no handphones..etc'?Yeaa, i had those signs in my class(i designed and printed them MYSELF) and what did one of my teachers say?'You shouldn't put so many NOs in class.Its such negativeness.'I felt like breaking her into two.

All the effort i put for those signs and all you could do was put me down,right infront of the entire class.Thanks horrrrr.

From now on i'm just listening to orders and doing the tasks i'm told.Since all my effort is shit.

Unbelievable.Sad to say but even my Dad is beginning to make me confused.He repeatedly told me and even sms-ed me,"Now you've got the phone,I want to see my stars.There's always 2 ends of a bargain." He meant A Stars for Os.

Now this is unfair.Why?What bargain are you talking about,Abah??YOU told Kakak and kak Girl i get the phone because of last year's results. YOU told me that you got me the phone so its easier to contact me.Heck I did not even ask for the damn handphone!Now you're telling me as if i pestered you to get me one and now i have to prove to you i'm worth spending $400 on.You know how much pain that causes me?How much pressure I have on my fragile body?

See Kakak and kak Girl,I knew the buying-me-a-hp had a meaning behind it.I told you didn't I?That its all gonna be about my Os.How every move i make now is all about my Os.

To end it all,I may have said some things due to the pain and anger I have in me nowadays.I'm seriously very tired and I just need a short break.

I want my Fiknatic Sistaz and I wanna see Taufik =..(